Better Now: Life Without Substance Use

Looking back, Justin identifies a number of warning signs. He was aware that he needed to change his behavior since it was progressing. He was drinking all day long, never feeling drunk, but continued to black out. His marriage ended when his son was young. He had multiple car crashes while driving while intoxicated and several incarcerations.

During one incarceration, Justin began to teach himself coping techniques to better manage his anxiety. He was able to focus on these coping techniques, because there was little else to do. Justin faced the fear that accompanied his anxiety and was motivated to build on these successes when his prison time was over.

Today, Justin works on his sobriety, and the factors that support it. He is fortunate to have an employer that recognizes his need for balance in his life and to keep his work hours manageable. He sets ambitious goals like hiking all forty-eight of New Hampshire’s 4000+ foot peaks and running ultra endurance races that can range up to 160 miles.

Justin has been sober for almost eight years. This has allowed him to be more present for others, especially his son. He enjoys sharing his story with others, and believes that everyone in recovery, even if they took a different path to get there, finds that their lives are better now.

Dylan’s struggle with substances started the first time he tried alcohol. He loved it and its effect. While he was smart and a good student in school, he was plagued with high anxiety and self doubt. He did not have support at home as both his parents and sister struggled with addiction during his childhood.

In high school, Dylan went to a party with no intention of drinking. Despite making a fool of himself and getting sick, the first time he drank, he felt a perfect sense of relief. He loved it and got more immediately. His addiction moved from alcohol to weed to street drugs. Within a year, he dropped out of school, lost his scholarships, had a new group of friends and was facing serious legal charges for distribution.

Dylan was offered a deal to do treatment or face prison time. He went to an inpatient treatment program, then to a sober living house where he met other people who understood his reasons for using substances. They understood the pain and hurt. While in treatment he had safety, shelter and food – giving him the time to work on the reasons why he felt so broken. They showed him a way out. Dylan worked on getting better and recovering. He went back to school, saved money and worked. All charges were dropped. Despite the progress, Dylan continued to struggle with depression and his addiction – overdosing several times and nearly losing his life.

Dylan credits the friends he made in treatment with getting him back into treatment. Since then, he has consistently not used substances. He is strongly committed to helping others who want to change and believes motivation and a desire to change is the “magic substance”. Dylan currently manages three sober living houses where he lives a modest life. Most of his income goes back into improving and expanding the residences.

Tonya works at Archways NH. She described living with depression as a very young girl (since 5) and when her father died in 2009, her depression worsened. Her doctor prescribed her medication to deal with the depression. Then while working as a LNA, she hurt her back. Her doctor prescribed her pain medication. For 10 years she misused both—to deal with the physical pain, the pain of an abusive intimate relationship, family rejection, other abuse, and multiple suicide attempts. She started to recover when she realized, “I only need myself. I matter, so I took my life back. I chose to stop.” Slowly she weaned herself off the pills. Music was a big part of her recovery – she could relate. She says today, “Recovery is amazing. I have friends, a clean house, my license, my children.” Her motto: “Live each day as if it were your last.”

Today, at 28 years old, Jorge is a personal trainer and fitness coach inspiring others to overcome their personal trauma and motivating them to embrace health and wellness. He doesn’t drink at all, because it just doesn’t fit in with his lifestyle.

What used to be for Phoebe an occasional drink after work, started to slowly turn into a regular occurrence. One beer turned into two or three, then more. At first she thought nothing of it— friends were scheduling regular happy hours over Facetime. It seemed normal and acceptable. In fact, she thought it was safer— she did not have to drive. This evening ritual turned into having a beer as soon as she got into the car after work. The day she realized she needed to stop was when she arrived at work still intoxicated from the night before. That was the breaking point. She couldn’t control how much she drank anymore. She was afraid of losing everything—her car, condo, boyfriend and job and even worse—of hurting a patient.

When Phoebe looked back, there were several early warning signs. Growing up, her mom misused alcohol and wasn’t available as a parent. When younger, Phoebe did not use drugs or drink much, but when she turned 21, she started going out to bars with friends. For many years she would often end up binge drinking and blacking out. At 25 she went back to school to get her nursing degree and during that time, stopped drinking.

Phoebe’s employer played a powerful role in her transformation to recovery. She used the Employee Assistance Program to find a treatment program, and the employee insurance covered her treatment. She took time off using Family Medical Leave.

Winter has several factors placing them at greater risk of SUD. Growing up, Winter was surrounded by people who used substances – both parents struggled with substance use. Winter’s parents divorced when Winter was 6 years old. By 11 years old, Winter was smoking cigarettes. No one was monitoring their activities and friends. Winter described themselves as an angry, hostile, and defiant teen with poor performance at school. Substances helped quell those strong emotions. These strong negative feelings were also mixed up with depression.

A turning point for Winter was a car crash resulting in a DWI and reckless conduct charge. The probation required regular drug screening. While in the hospital, they went through withdrawal. It was the first time anyone talked to Winter about their substance use and depression. The staff helped Winter get into treatment and addressed the depression with medication. Winter continues to go to AA meetings and support others in the recovery community.