Surgeon General Calls for More Support to Address High Rates of Parental Stress

Oct 24, 2024

This blog was guest-authored by Melony Williams, LCMHC, a licensed mental health clinician with over 20 years of experience supporting children and families who have experienced trauma. Melony has served as a Clinical Supervisor at a family resource center and is a nationally rostered Child Parent Psychotherapy clinician. She has facilitated the Miss Kendra curriculum in schools and is trained as an Art Therapist. In addition to her work with trauma-informed care, she has developed self-care workshops for helping professionals. Melony is also a mother of a young adult and a teenager.

As a busy parent, you might have missed the new advisory on parental stress, issued by the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy. In the advisory he warns that parenting is one of the hardest jobs, while also being one of the most rewarding. Murthy noted in a recent survey that 33% of parents report experiencing high levels of stress in the past month compared to other adults (20%). He added nearly half of the parents surveyed reported that their stress was completely overwhelming on most days, compared to 26% of other adults.

stressed out parent, with wet hair, sitting at a cramped desk with a cup of coffee and drying racks behind herDoes this feel familiar? As a parent, you might not find this shocking. If you are like me, you might have had thoughts like, “What am I doing wrong? Everyone else seems to rock this parenting thing. Their house is clean, their children happy and they are building a successful career. What’s wrong with me?” What I appreciate about Dr. Murthy’s advisory is it validates the challenges of caregiving. It’s not hard because we are doing something wrong—it’s overwhelming because the job of raising smart, compassionate and responsible human beings in this complex and competitive world is a daunting task. We feel overwhelmed because parenting is darn hard, it’s exhausting and it’s 24/7—even with support. Then, when you experience factors like unstable or unaffordable housing, family violence, stigma, racism and discrimination, and poverty—it can feel impossible. This chaos can become crushing and may lead to neglect or abuse of children or substances.

two people hugging at an indoor gathering

It doesn’t have to be that way. When parents and caregivers have a robust safety net in their time of need including financial, mental and emotional support, we are equipped to handle everyday challenges and protect the mental and physical health of our children. This advisory highlights what we all can do to support the essential role of caregiving.

Often, we focus on what we, as parents, need to do, but there are many factors that influence the experience of parenting. Here are some ways to support parents and make a difference in their lives:

  • Protect Family Planning: Ensure that families have access to reproductive healthcare so they can choose when to have children and determine the size of their families.
  • Support Family Strengthening Programs: Parenting is a long journey, and every parent needs support from time-to-time. Home visiting programs like Healthy Families America New Hampshire and the Family Resources Centers meet parents where they are. They are evidence-based and proven to make a difference. Whether you are raising your child or someone else’s, the New Hampshire Children’s Trust has helpful resources for all types of caregiving. Also, you can also reach out to the free Family Support Warm Line run by Waypoint for help raising kids or for family issues.
  • Expand Safety Programs & Resources: Connect families to essential services like Community Action Programs, and resources such as The Earned Income Tax Credit.
  • Offer Flexible Work Schedules: Advocate for workplace policies to allow caregivers to stay home with a sick child or take time to attend appointments.
  • Embrace Self-Care, It Isn’t Selfish: Recognize your personal limits and accept that “good enough” is good enough. You don’t have to put on a strong front – it’s okay to set boundaries and ask for help. Sometimes doing less is more (e.g., more time to connect with your children, more time to sleep and feel restful.)
  • Fight Mental Health Stigma: No parent should feel ashamed to ask for help. Children do not come with a manual; you are not expected to know what to do in every situation. Call The Doorway at 2-1-1 for local support if you have concerns about your mental health.
  • Recovery Friendly Workplace: Workplaces that hire and support people recovering from substance use disorder help their workers build critical recovery capital needed for long-term success.
  • Spread Friendship and Understanding: Our health and wellbeing are a reflection of our relationships. When we have people in our lives we can turn to for emotional support, we are healthier. Be that person for someone.

With all we know about child development and the importance of secure early attachment, it’s time we support parents, so we can focus on the joy of raising our families. The benefits will last generations.

Author Bio

Melony Williams, LCMHC has been serving children and families who have experienced trauma for over 20 years. For much of her career, Melony worked as the Clinical Supervisor at a family resource center, supporting families as well as agency staff during reflective supervision. Melony is a nationally rostered Child Parent Psychotherapy clinician and provides this evidence-based treatment to families. She has also facilitated the Miss Kendra curriculum in local schools and is trained as an Art Therapist. Melony has provided presentations and consultation to community partners on trauma informed care for the past 10 years and has developed a self-care workshop for helping professionals. She is also a mom to a young adult and a teenager.

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